"Is that really him?"

Walking home, after work, on the hectic road just several miles from the sun, I decided to grab a quick drink to quench my thirst. I spotted a café at the end of the street and as I was nearing the café…. “Is that really him?” I couldn’t believe my eyes. “No, just walk pass, don’t look”, I told myself. I nervously ducked across the café, and just when I was almost reaching the end of the street, I heard a yell. “Teesha, is that you?!” “Oh shit. He caught me, what do I do now?”, my inner voice spoke. I turned around and there I saw John’s eyes open wide in surprise and recognition.

“Oh, my god, Teesha, is that really you?

 That voice. The last time I’d heard it was a lifetime ago. That face. The last time I'd seen him was the worst day of my life.

“Oh, hi John, it’s you.”

“Yes! Of course, it’s me, your John!”, said John brightly.  Yeah right, ‘Your John’, I thought to myself.

He walked towards me, arms spread wide. We collided and his arms wrapped around me. Unsure of myself, I hugged him weakly as I gently patted his back. As he was losing his grip on me, almost immediately I took a step back and we awkwardly smiled.

Then he says…

 “C’mon, that’s my café! Let’s have a drink!”

“Hmm, a drink?”

“Oh. You’ve got to go somewhere? You’re not in a rush, are you?”

“Uhm...”

“No, don’t worry, a quick one!”

He walked me in and we sat at the table close to the cash counter.

“Roast milk tea?”

“Yes, can thank you.”

Hmm, he never changed a bit, the same old baby-faced John with golden brown curly hair and not forgetting his signature mole on his right cheek. John stood at the counter and turned back to look at me. Our eyes met and his lips broke into a teasing smile, with one corner hinting upwards. But I quickly broke it off, busying myself with my iPhone while John come with the drinks.

John and I go back in years. Looking back, there was so much about him that drove me mad. Well, just like every other boyfriend, he was sweet and loving until Emily came in the picture and stole him away. I was stupid to believe all his lies about his friendship with Emily until I caught them cuddling right before my eyes. There. I ended it and I never wanted to see them again. Ever.

“Here, you go”.

“Thank you”.

John turned the chair round and straddled it with both his elbows resting on the table, he asked, "So.... what have you been up to?”

“Nothing much, just work and home. You?”

“Oh me, just been running this café for 6 years now. You know, how I’ve always wanted to have my very own cafe… so here I am!”

“Yea... I remember our coffee shop dates and how you’d constantly talk to me about starting a business together...”

“Yea…”, he pulled as his face turned pale with an alertness in his eyes. He slouched against his chair and there was awkward silence for at least 5 seconds.

“So, are you free tomorrow?”, he asked. What a bland question I thought, unsure of what to say, I blabbered.

“Hmm, tomorrow...? I’ve got to go to work...I’ve got this meeting that I can’t skip…I need to get home quick for dinner with a client…oh this client, I have to meet her for, uhm it’s important…and and...”

"Uh...okay okay, that's cool... so...uh...another time then?

“Yeah okay”.

I quickly gulped the last bit of the drink and stood up.

“Uh John, got to go. I've got to meet my boss for lunch in half an hour.”

“Ah, okay no problem. See you around soon, drop by when you can”.

“Sure, thanks”, with my half-smiled face.

Point of View.

There. For the hundredth time, I hear them quarrel like husband and wife. I could hardly recall when the last time we fought. My husband doesn’t talk to me or look at me the same way anymore. I don’t try anything either.

 Mm. But, I still love my millionaire husband.

               I knew my husband and his daughter had begun doing sexual experimentation, kissing and touching one another in bed at night. For some reason when I asked him about them, his face turned very red and he got real nervous, which is something he almost never does.

Well, I just know that we’re over now.

Monica. Ugh, I hate that name. Why did I even agree to Bill when he wanted to name her after his mistress. Well now, she doesn’t only own her name, she also resembles that dead bitch. His pregnant mistress died in a hit-and-run accident. I nailed that at first attempt, you have no clue. Pfft.

You see… 'I'm not a bad person, I just fell in love, I couldn't help it.'

But times have changed.

Monica had kept her secret of sexual abuse by her minister father for a very long time…well at least until her teenage years. He’s 'sudden passion' for her must be the resemblance. Yet, the telling of her story, while painful, has been powerfully healing for me. I’ve got used to this.

               To be honest, it’s awkward. He feels the need to treat her like his lover, but if she did bad at school, he blows up and goes strictly father on her. Then that same night he wants to have sex with her.

               What?! Yeah..., I know.

               She lets him, and then he kisses her back and they end up making out and getting down for a good few hours before he returns to my room. This type of nightly ritual has been going on for some time... since puberty hit her and she is now full of lust.

She vowed to keep this their little secret. A year had passed. I didn’t have to catch them in the act, but I constantly find them looking at each other a little too long and laughing at inside jokes. They act like lovers.

I hardly sleep at all some nights, reliving the scenes over and over. It has become almost a dream sequence in my mind.

What did she do to seduce this old man?

Hmm, a girl like her can make any man happy. I cannot deny that she has some sort of power over me at this point.

            “Our baby!” I snap out of my thoughts when I heard his loud voice piercing through the kitchen.

“What? Our baby?? What in the world did I just hear?!”

I rush to the living room and feel the tension in the atmosphere. Both looking pale and stunt.

“What happened?!” I asked.

Bill hesitates and murmurs.

               I could tell then he is hiding something from me.

“Oh... Um... She’s….”.

My eyes automatically heat up in the concluding thoughts that I’m not going to like what I’m about to hear.

“She’s.… pregnant.”

“Damn you!”

All my veins go crazy, it feels like my organs wanted to jump out of my body.

I’m in denial. I replay the moment a hundred times in my head.

“You’re married!” I remind him, not particularly pleased about remembering this detail myself.

“How could you possibly let this happen?! Aren’t you ashamed? Both of you disgust me!”

The anger aggravates in me when Bill refuses to respond.

“Oh, shut up Jen,” he says.

What is he even thinking? Honestly, I have no clue what is going on. Bill and Monica keep on arguing as if I’m not there.

He says Abort, she says No.

Another Monica now? I cannot let this happen. Something must be done.

Deep down, I want the baby gone. Worse, I want her gone.

All I see is another murder plan.

Suddenly, Monica screeches at the top of her voice, “I’m going to tell the whole world that you raped me!”

Bill becomes furious, he slaps her hard. Monica turns crimson red. She is sure in massive pain, all she could do is cry… but all along I’m feeling better and better. But not yet…

            “Get out of the house,” he yells.

That brat stupidly dashes out of the house, sobbing. Bill runs after her just when I hear a loud bang and a thundering crush of metal.

               I'm not sure if this is a dream come true or a nightmare.

Sky of Vines.

“Sky of Vines.”

I rubbed the sharp-edged leaf between my porcelain fingers. I looked up, watching other leaves fall until they landed gently by my toes. I gazed at the countless vines intertwined with each other across what we, the fairies knew as the sky. There were no clouds, there was no rain – just the long draping green that grew above, to the side and even the ground. I sat in the front yard, holding my knees close to the chest, my eyes fixed to the canopy above. I searched for movement, a noise, anything at all that would hint me from above. But the vines hung like sloths, dead and unmoving.

“Well, what was I expecting?”

Hmm, all my life, I had questioned what could be above those vines and again all my life that was the exact subject every single fairy in Avalar chose to avoid.

“Fairies just don’t question these things, Tammy!”

Mr. Sam, my English professor tiredly reiterated when I had confronted him for the hundredth time. But, why?  I’m just looking for answers.

“There must be one fairy, at least one who has flown up to discover.”

Mr. Sam noticed my response cracking in desperation.

He slowly removed his silvery-framed spectacles that were slipping and retaliated, “Well even if there were, none of them came back. I’m warning you Tammy, don’t go up there.”

I took a long hard look at him. Does he think whatever he had told me is going to frighten me? Of course, not.

“I’m warning you again Tammy, don’t go up there.”

Sigh.

My parents would constantly tell me that they wish I was like the other fairies. But no. I’m different apparently. I often pester them, day and night with questions about ‘the world above’. Well, initially they were amused with my curiosity but after a while they stopped responding, simply sighing or rolling their eyes whenever I asked them.

Suddenly, I felt a rustle from the trees nearby to where I was sitting.

It was Maya, my best friend.

“Frightened, Tammy?” Maya smirked.

“Not now Maya, not in my best mood for your tricks.”

“Alright, alright! I’m sorry. So, that’s it then. You’ve decided?”

“Um, yes. I’ve made my decision.

“Are you sure?” she began.

“No one in Avalar is going to help me, so I’m going to find out for myself.”

“I just hope you’re sure about this! You know anything could happen to you.” Maya said hesitantly.

I paused for a few moments. Recollected my thoughts about this decision. I realized I might not make it home unharmed. I realized I might not make it back at all. I quickly pushed my thoughts to the back of my mind.

“I’m going to do this. I’ve wondered for too long. I have to know,” I said.

Later that day, I left my parents a note saying that they potentially might not ever see me again. I reassured myself for the last time that leaving a note was the right thing to do. I sat on the floor in my room crumpling hundreds of papers into small balls, unsure of how to put my feelings into words. Peculiarly, my chest seemed to feel lighter once I slid the note under my pillow. They would find it eventually.

“At least I won’t be leaving them hanging.”

I looked out my dirt-speckled window, and I knew it was time to leave Avalar. I slung my backpack over one shoulder and left my room silently. To be honest, I didn’t have to worry much about making noise. My parents are used to my disappearances when I sneak out often after dinner. I enjoy gazing at the sky of vines above me. Nowhere far actually, just a few miles from home, especially near the hilltops. During the lonely but peaceful nights, I read about the mythical creatures, what Mr. Sam often refers to as human beings, evil and destructive in nature. I picture them ugly, filthy and large like ogre or cunning with long tail like mermaid. I’m just always searching for answers.

Without saying goodbye or looking back, I quickly walked out the door. I walked with my head down; I let my hair fall over my face hoping that nobody would recognise me. I had actually planned my journey for weeks. I know exactly where to go. I just needed to walk towards the Violet Hill and fly up to the vines from there. I finally relaxed when I saw there were no fairies to be seen. Everyone had gone home, hopefully. I was glad to get away from the utter boring lives the other fairies led; never curious, never questioning. I just couldn’t stand the dreariness of Avalar. I was just waiting to escape reality.

I walked non-stop till the foot of Violet Hill and turned around. My house was now far behind, all that I could see was the long sandy path that led to where I was at. It was so quiet, so…lonely. With one last look, leaving everything I had known behind, I ran.

I ran to the top of the hill and looked down over Avalar, the endless-glowing light shined over the hilltops was mind-blowing. From where I was, I could see millions of flowers, white, pink, yellow and red that perfectly grew around the land.

I thought to myself, “The fairies of Avalar might be boring but Avalar surely isn’t.”

“I might not ever set foot on Avalar again,” I pondered.

I might never be able to smell mother’s scented roses in the garden, or hear the sound of father’s axe chop wood at the yard or even listen to Mr. Sam vent about his tiring life. I tried to erase all thoughts of my family. I knew I couldn’t turn back now.

I tightened the straps on my backpack then stretched out my wings, preparing to fly up. I rose into the air, beginning my uncertain journey towards the vines. I began to form drops of sweat as I fluttered higher and higher. I had no idea why it was getting so warm and sticky.

Panting, I gulped in as many breaths of air as I could and beat my wings harder to get to the top. I looked above. I could finally see all the vines before my eyes. With full of wonder, I searched for an opening to squeeze through. A blinding light shined in my eyes as if I was staring straight into the sun. I knew it was it. Nervousness kicked in. Shutting my eyes tight, I flew through, my heart racing with anticipation and excitement.

At first, all I saw was light – incredibly bright. I took a moment to regain my sight. When my vision cleared, I saw a huge lamp floating directly above me.

“How is the lamp just hanging in the air?” I wondered, feeling confused.

 I squinted to look ahead. There I saw a metal table and on it, was a glass box.

Not just a glass box, but wait.

“Is there something moving in the box?”

My eyes widened. Fairies?! There they were. Fairies exactly like the ones in Avalar. I was now confused more than ever. I flew closer to the box to get a better look. I cautiously began to inch closer to the other glass box.

Suddenly, I had a smack. My whole body crashed against something hard and cool.

“Oh, that hurt!”

 I reached out feeling for what was blocking my way. My hands landed on glass.

“What?!” I screamed my head now throbbing in pain.

I flew to the left, I flew to the right, I flew all the way up feeling for open space to fly through. Sadly, there was none.

I repeatedly pounded on the glass till my palms turned red. I was trapped. My heart sank when I realized I was in a box. Avalar was merely a box.

“I…I don’t understand,” I cried, trying to wrap my head around my shocking discovery.

Just then, I heard scraping metal sound. Looking outside the box, I saw a giant figure, bigger than any fairy, draped in a long white coat. Through the dim light outside, I see plastic goggles worn around its head covering the eyes. A million things ran through my mind as I contemplated what it might be. I watched the being, its’ strange long arms hovering around some tools.

Right then I noticed a sign on the wall above the being. In striking colour lights, it read, DO NOT LET FAIRIES OUT.

My eyes flew back to what the being was cutting. I saw wings and a pale face, lying still. In my horror, I couldn’t even manage to let out a scream. I felt helpless when I realized why none of the fairies came back. They had been tortured and violated, these…monsters experimenting on them. And then it hit me.

I had read about them before. They were supposed to be mythical beings, greedy and self-righteous, exploiting everything and everyone around them. Mr. Sam had also once taught me that they were full of hate, killing each other for power. I read that they had wiped out their own species, but clearly, the books and the fairies were severely mistaken.

Haiku for Caption Ruby.

If only you knew,
Rueben my heart calls out for,
Across Atlantic.

Caption leaves my side,
Anchoring in deep water,
While I yearn for his return.

I whispered his name.
Meantime in alam he is,
Wanting to hug me.

He likes my poems,
All I do is share my thoughts,
Just thoughts about him.


                                                                                                               Teesha
                                                                                                               3/5/2017

Stress - is the word my dear friend.

Stress kills me with the pile of workload each day,
How do I endure this or make it go away?

I'm either feeling weak or drained when I don't sleep,
In bed at night I wonder why thoughts run so deep.

They ask me of I'm ill or sad,
It's just stress my friends don't feel bad.

Do you notice how I walk with a slow pace,
Bruised; torn apart catch me when I fall just in case.

I woke up and thought to myself why I care less,
Because nothing ever is right when everything is a mess.

Stress is man's worst enemy you agree?
Will stress set me free?

                                                                                                                                Teesha
                                                                                                                                20/4/2017

Foundation programme is coming to an end?

The year is coming to a close, the third semester is coming to an end, my foundation programme is about to complete. So what now ? Final Examination. Yes, I repeat. FINAL EXAMINATION. As this is my last post, I'd like to take this opportunity to reflect on my journey through these 12 months course.


Just like others, there have been good days and bad days for me too. I mean c'mon, what is life if it's not cruel, right? But what matters is that how you endure every obstacles that come your way and stop you from progressing when there's every possible chance. Sometimes, I wish I was still at school, sometimes I wish I was still a child just so that I didn't have to face so much pain and drama at college. But at the same time, I thank god for giving me strength to pull through every challenging path I come across. From examination, assignments, presentations to handling lecturers, friends and homesick. I feel strong than before.


I'm glad through out the course, I made new friends from the other department, got closer to my own classmates and batch mates, created good impression towards my lecturers, and most importantly, learned a lot of new things and gained adequate knowledge to pass my exams with flying colours and also to prepare for my degree course. Yes, I've made up my mind to persue my degree in Tesl at Help :')


My first semester seemed pretty easy and manageable, second semester was a little tough but again I pull through with enough motivation and study time. Now, I'm in my last and final week of study before the finals, and the amount of assignments and presentation I had to submit and do respectively was massive.! Like literally so many that I barely had enough time for myself. #lifeasastudent.

But all in all, this foundation programme has been really beneficial to me and it definitely serves as a foundation for my future studies and also career. Even though I had uncountable assignments and projects to complete, it was indeed fun to carry out with my classmates. They have really helped me through completing difficult tasks and have been there to cheer me up when I was feeling down. Our lecturers were amazing, friendly and also helpful through out this course. I'll sure miss my lecturers and also my fellow classmates.

Thank you Tesl Foundation & cheers to the new chapter of my life. Life of a degree student. :)

Public Service Announcement Project.

OFFICIAL PSA MOVIE - Girls. They deserve to be two things : Who they want to be and what they want to be, whenever they want. :)

It was a project done for the New Media in Tesl subject. Well, what can I say? It was more than fun to have worked with such sporting and adventurous friends. Daniel, being the only thorn among the roses tolerated our nuisance pretty well and contributed many ideas.Shannen, on the other hand came up with the most random jokes to be used in our script and as for Fara and Lalisha, the pulled off their acting skills quite well. Last but the not the least, Chanelle, our photographer and editor who did a tremendous job into putting the scenes all together and producing a wonderful piece what I call a 'short film'.




Do sit back, relax and enjoy our production :)

YANOMAMO Tribe.

Sitting Bull, the tribal chief of Hunkpapa Lakota noted that “I wish it to be remembered that I was the last man of my tribe to surrender my rifle’, before he was shot dead for defending his tribe’s sovereignty and dignity Just like this tribe, there are other tribes all over the world fighting for their heritage. However, some tribes have decided to remain isolated and have no contact with the outside world or even other indigenous peoples. Their decision not to maintain contact with other tribes and outsiders is almost certainly a result of previous disastrous encounters, ongoing invasion and destruction of their forest home. In conjunction to this, I’m going to talk about a tribe that probably not many of you have heard of. A tribe that is struggling through criminal invasions, attacks and disease. A tribe that is facing extinction. And finally a tribe that I fancy. Yes, they are called the “Yanomamo.”

Who is keen in anthropology? Who enjoys studies of tribal and culture? Who sees art from a different perspective? My speech will surely be of special interest to them. Firstly, The Yanomamo are well known for being one of the few tribes in the world whose existence was unknown until some recent decades. The Yanomamo fall into the category of Tropical Forest Indians called ‘foot people.’ There are just about 20,000 people living in some 200–250 villages in the Amazon rain forests on the border between Venezuela and Brazil. The entire village lives under a common roof called the shabono. They are of the Shamanism religion and speak Yanomaman languages. Besides, The Yanomami heavily depend on rain forest resources thus, they are known as fishers and hunters. Their common game animals are wild pigs, monkeys, tapirs, armadillos, birds and rodents. Not forgetting, they’re also horticulturists. The women cultivate plantains in gardens as their main crops while men do the heavy work of clearing areas of forest for the gardens. However, it is devastating to discover that their lives are currently threatened. Gold minors have invaded their lands, destroyed many villages and spread deadly diseases by which many Yanomamos died.

Nevertheless, I’m quite fascinated about their way of life. I always thought that tribal people were mostly peaceful. Little did I know that war was a nearly constant state of affairs for the Yanomamo that shaped every aspect of their lives and culture. Well, I believed that even when tribes did fight, the battles were rooted in conflicts over material resources, only after having some researches done, I was informed that the Yanomamo’s wars were almost entirely over women. Not only that, and while I had believed that all tribal people were highly egalitarian, I found that Yanomamo men were in fact very concerned about status and that there were several ways for a man to elevate himself above his village peers. Quite interesting, isn’t it ? Well, let us take a moment to study their way of life.

For your information, one of the most salient features of their social environment is the threat of attack from neighbors. According to a statistic, 45% of these tribesmen had slain at least one other man leading to a lost a member of their immediate family due to violence. However, populations of tribesmen believed to be still growing by reproduction of offspring regardless of the many people dying and fighting with each other that leads to the high number of death. If you were surprised to find that the Yanomamo were not the peace-loving noble savages you had expected, you should be equally surprise to learn the cause of their constant conflict. 

As we all know, tribesman go to war over material resources. So just like other primitive people, Yanomamo did indeed fight over a scarce resource ; Land, food, oil, water, wealth? No. Women. Yes, they fight over women. Their conflicts were almost entirely rooted in reproductive competition. This phenomena is completely out of the norm for civilized people, whereas it is a mean of survival in the tribal world. Nevertheless, I have to agree on this note, ‘women have always been the most valuable single resource that men fight for and defend.

Yet the Yanomamo’s desire to obtain a woman isn't primarily for reproductive competition which takes us to the third surprise ; the tribesmen’s desire for status and honor. It is found that Yanomamo men were more prominent and given more deference than others. First, the men with the most kin and the largest patrilineage enjoyed higher status, mostly the political leaders. Besides, this higher status comes with an advantage. For instance, the more male relatives a young man had, the easier it is for him to successfully find a wife. Other than that, the Yanomamo practices polygyny. Every Yanomamo man hoped to have multiple wives which consequently creates scarcity in women, thus become the one resource worth fighting over. At a worse scenario, men may attack and raid other villages and bring back some of their woman causing the men from the raided villages to plan a counterattack that sets a constant war and fear of attack.

In a nutshell, these are some interesting background information on some of the possible origins of masculine culture and honor. As far as I’m concerned, this way of life provides a fascinating look at how and why the basic code of masculine honor, as defined by stoic courage, originally developed. And as I mentioned at the start, what stuck out to me is that the lives of Yanomamo men, while incredibly far removed from that of us moderns, still have faint echoes today. Learning about the Yanomamo gave me a dozen random insights that I feel relate to the state of modern men which includes Yanomamo’ desire for women, desire for honor and status, and their constant war that shapes their lives. Nevertheless, I think this is an interesting tribe that you may be keen to know more. Feel free to research on this and believe me you’ll be amazed.

  

My opinion towards the Foundation Programme.

Well, Daniel and I were put into a group to do a presentation for Principles of ESL Teaching and Learning, one of the very last tasks for this week. Th topic for our presentation was basically a discussion on aspects of the teaching-learning on the Tesl Foundation Programme which are good and aspects which could be improved. 

Some of the good aspects we spoke about were the lecturers' personality and attitude. We find that almost all of the lecturers from the Tesl Department are very ENTHUSIASTIC, COMPASSIONATE and EMPHATIC by nature.

How is a student motivated to attend to the subject matter?

• Teachers allowing themselves to convey the true zest for learning that we feel
• Teachers are fascinated by our subject matter or they wouldn't be teaching it!
• Teachers developed a habit of allowing a maximal voice projection.
• Teachers use the tools of eye contact, facial expression, gestures and postural changes. 
• Teachers provide encouragement all the time.
• Teachers are very genuine and smile like they mean it.
• Teachers allow students to take ownership of their learning and let them make their own decisions.
• Teacher's expectations are be aligned with our needs.

So, all these scenarios are associated with attracting and holding our attention and we're pretty much tuned in with the exciting materials that they're about to hand out which facilitates better learning.

On the other hand, we pointed out some aspects that could be improved for a better teaching-learning in our programme.

LONG HOUR CLASSES and WORK LOAD.

We have classes stretch from 8am to 6.30pm with only an hour lunch break. I find this time of classes quite intolerable as each lesson are a duration of 3 and a half hour. Sometimes, due to long and lengthy hours of lectures, we experience lethargy and sometimes boring topic and get spaced out in class just waiting to go home. Some students have to catch their train home while some are obliged to drive home in the massive traffic jam.

We suggest that the Eng Department could make the necessary arrangement to shorten the duration of classes as well as set the time according to the convenience of both the lecturers and students.

Besides, the work load that we have to endure is crazy. QUIZZES, PRESENTATION, ASSIGNMENT, PROJECTS, TESTS, EXAMINATION and the list goes on. We totally understand this is basically the perks of being a college student but we deserve to get our rest time, extracurricular time and on study time too. It's already the 24th of November 2014 which marks the last week of study before our finals. NIGHTMARE. So many assignments to submit and other presentations to do that come clashing in with our study time. So how am I suppose to focus all at one time? So do I complete the assignment? Or do I prepare my slides for my presentation? Or do I start revising for the finals?

It's alright to get to us to do a lot of tasks as they're beneficial to us as well as help us with our future. Nevertheless, I suggest the department could provide a course schedule that is more manageable for us? 

Lastly, we totally understand that The HOD and also the other members of the department are having a hard time with the constant moving from building to building. Thus, leads us to problems like insufficient classroom, constant cancellation of classes and changes in the class venue. However, I have to say that we have to tolerate and let the changes take place as they are for good reasons. The department is making every possible way to provide us with a quality teaching-learning environment.

College is a reward.

One thing that I promised myself before I came to Help University College, before I even graduated from high school, was to not procrastinate with my assignments, readings, work obligations, projects and any other daily activity you can imagine. Now, I'm about to complete my foundation and pursue into my first year as a degree student, I have realized that this goal is easier said than done.

One would imagine that I might have settled into an all-too-familiar daily routine of a usual 8 a.m. – 7 p.m. schedule consisting of attending classes, study time, break time and extracurricular activities by now, correct? The answer is completely and entirely correct. Back in the first and second semester, my typical day is roughly made up of about 30% free time, 5% eating, 20% doing homework, 25% extracurricular activities and personal activities (sports, clothes shopping, own study, etc.), and 20% of my time is going to class. Now, it's the total opposite. I barely have time for myself, thus always seeing myself run up and down, back and forth for classes. Based on these numbers I have discovered that my biggest challenge I faced with is finding the motivation to be the productive, studious and organized student that I promised my younger self I would be.

Although Help is a fairly small campus, the people that you meet are like no other. The sense of community that everyone brings to the table is a blessing and a burden. I say this because I have experienced the reward of finding close friends who I forfeit my sleep for just to squeeze in a few more laughs before we all return to our rooms; the extra free time I long for to catch lunch or tea with batch mates and other senior students on the other hand the close-knit and cordial atmosphere distracts you from focusing on the actual reason for being at the college. There is no doubt that fun is one of the most sought out activities in college and sometimes, I don’t even feel like I am at school because the amount of time that I spend on my own and with friends is ridiculously fun.

Now I don’t mean to sound like those guidance counselors, adults, teachers and parents of friends who preached about the importance of prioritizing school and family above all else. Although I will emphasize how right they were about choosing friends that share the same values as you. My closest friends who I have only known for about third quarter of a year are the reason why my college experience will keep me going for the rest of my education journey.

Occasionally I tend to remind myself that I have a purpose to fulfill even though the temptation to have a little more fun pushes its way from the back of my mind and transforms into eventual action. Although these thoughts are more frequent than I would prefer, I find comfort in the fact that I am not alone in this struggle. In actuality, no one is ever completely alone in his or her personal struggles. The key to succeeding in college, in my opinion, is finding people just like you who are fighting similar battles and who encourage you to study more often. However, indeed I should say that this is a good start of something new.

Help's Deepavali Night '14

Hi there, there was a Deepavali celebration organised by the Human Resource and Indian Cultural Society of Help University at Mainblock on the 31st of October 2014. 

There were lots of performances by Help students and also by local artists such as the singer, Neroshan and the upcoming dance crew, Te Amo. I also had the privilege to do a folk dance performance with my sister that night. It was quite difficult to rehearse my dance due to time constrain. Managing my anxiety and nervousness before my performance and during my performance was indeed challenging. Thanks to the committee for this opportunity. 

The admission was free and dinner was also served free, thus I invite a few friends over to join us. Our Help Komander, Mr Anthonysamy was very entertaining, regardless of his tight schedule and time, he made an initiative to give us wonderful performances. Not forgetting, Daathry and Zack, the MCs' for the night. They were amazing and hilarious on stage. All those attended the event especially the students were the best audience. They laughed, cheered and danced along all night long. 

Lastly, the dance floor was the bomb. The event went on till 1am and the songs that were played were amazing. It was an honour to have met a lot of new people that night. It was indeed an amazing event. I am looking forward for next year's Help's Deepavali celebration.

World Mental Health Day 2014

World Mental Health Event 2014 Day by CPCS 

of 

Help University.

It is an honor and a privilege to be invited to participate in the World Mental Health Day Event by the Psychology and Counseling Department of Help University. The theme that Center for Psychological and Counseling Services (CPCS) is featuring this year is Breaking Stigma, Bridging Lives. The aim of this event is to raise awareness about Schizophrenia and other related mental health issues. It was held for 3 days from the 8th of October till the 10th of October 2014, from 10am to 4pm. There were audio and video simulations related to mental illness, communication activities, dance, expressive art, stress-relief crafts, and mindfulness activities from the experiential rooms across all three days. Sadly, I was unable to attend all 3 days of the event due to tight class schedule and time constraint, thus only attended the last two days and participated in a few activities and event highlights that were arranged for the participants. 

This year’s health concern is on the psychological disease called Schizophrenia. Schizophrenia refers to a long-term mental disorder of a type involving a breakdown in the relation between thought, emotion, and behaviour, leading to faulty perception, inappropriate actions and feelings, withdrawal from reality and personal relationships into fantasy and delusion, and a sense of mental fragmentation. The first experiential room that I was introduced to is called ‘Breaking Stigma’. I was informed on the seriousness of Schizophrenia as there have been several suicide cases reported due to this mental disorder. However, little did I know that Schizophrenia is common for men and women in their late 20s, Previously, I thought it was only common among children. The truth is that it's quite uncommon for children to be diagnosed with Schizophrenia and also rare for those older than 45.

Not just that, I was also told that Schizophrenia symptoms vary from person to person. Some of the symptoms of Schizophrenia that we ought to know include delusions, hallucinations, disorganized thinking and abnormal motor behaviour. However, it is quite difficult to recognize Schizophrenia symptoms in teenagers as this may also be just a part of typical teen development. I startled upon hearing that the symptoms among teenagers are withdrawal from friends and family, drop in performance at school, trouble sleeping, irritability or depressed mood and lack of motivation as I’m pretty much encountering some of these currently. I hope it is not what I think it is. As for treating this illness, the medical management of Schizophrenia often requires a combination of antipsychotic, antidepressant, and antianxiety medication. Unfortunately, most people will discontinue their use of medications, especially ones where the side effects are difficult to tolerate. This is devastating because lifelong treatment is needed for victims of Schizophrenia.

Secondly, we then moved on to the next phase called ‘Empathy Lab’. This was my most favourite part of the tour. I was asked to listen to some sound clips and do a crossword puzzle at the same time. Throughout the sound clips, I heard gory sound effects and voices that mentioned negative comments like “You’re worthless. You should die. You’re stupid.” These discouraging words were very disturbing and not pleasing to the ears. I was unable to concentrate on completing the crossword puzzle. It is undoubtedly true that people with Schizophrenia face delusions because they hear voices that other people don’t hear. Thus, these negative voices they hear lead them to suicidal thoughts and abnormal behaviour. Besides, I also watched a video clipping on how a Schizophrenic runs his daily routines. He sees, hears, smells, or feels things that no one else can. He believes things that are not true. For example, a person may believe that people on the radio and television are talking directly to him or her. Sometimes people believe that they are in danger, thinking that other people are trying to hurt them. How terrifying can life get?

The next experiential room is called the ‘Dance Expression’, where we were taught on how to do the Cha Cha Cha dance. Basically, this is a form of a dance therapy that is able to make people happy and joyful. Hence, dancing is used to treat Schizophrenia. However, otherwise, I think I should still practice dancing as I believe it is an uplifting activity and can also be taken up as a hobby during my leisure time. The last phase is called ‘Bridging Lives’. Here, we were notified on some of the ways to seek for professional help. Honestly, I refused to help anybody with mental illness because I don’t quite know the right approach or procedure to find them a solution. Not only that, I also fear for rejection. Therefore, I normally keep a distance from people with mental illness or depression. However, after being briefed on how we can reach out to help victims of mental disorder, I feel relieved and pledge to try my best to help them in anyway possible. 

I always had a wrong perception towards people with mental disorder until I attended this event. Just like everybody else, I thought Schizophrenia was a split personality or multiple personality. However, then I learned that the word "schizophrenia" doesn’t mean "split mind," but it refers to a disruption of the usual balance of emotions and thinking. I also learned that besides medical treatment, family therapy is the key factor in minimizing the detrimental effects on a patient’s life. If I happen to encounter any of my family members with any kind of mental illness, I must give them the encouragement and support needed to help them function normally in their everyday life. However, there is no need to be extra nice or be given extra care or concern. This is because Schizophrenic patients or anybody at all with mental disorder dislike special approach or treatment. Therefore, I’m allowed to interact with them normally but at the same time be sure to keep my communications simple and brief when speaking with the patient.

Other than that, I signed up for one of the event highlights called ‘Group Mandala Drawing’. Mandala drawing is a form of an art therapy and a guided meditation used as a tool for self-reflection and mindfulness. We were asked to draw a circle and decorate it. The shapes and colors we create supposedly reflect our inner self at the time of creation. So, whatever I was feeling at that time, whatever emotions were coming through, would be represented in my mandala art therapy. As far as I’m concerned, I was happy at that moment of time thus expressed my joy by drawing pretty flowers on my mandala. I somewhat did not gain much benefit from this activity besides discovering a hidden drawing talent in me.

Lastly, I participated in the ‘Mindfulness Exercise’ on the 3rd and final day of the event. We were introduced to 6 different breathing exercises. These brief breathing exercises are meant to help with cultivating physical and mental relaxation. I felt very lightened, relieved and calm after the breathing session. If I were to practice these breathing exercises regularly, I ought to find myself feeling very energetic and relaxed. In a nutshell, I find this event very interesting yet beneficial to me. I wouldn't have known so much about Schizophrenia or other mental health issues, be it the symptoms, the treatments available or even on how to reach out to help the victims if it wasn’t for this event. From now on, I pledge to have the courtesy and patience to listen to my friends’ problem, also help them seek doctor’s or counselor’s help and provide them with necessary encouragement and care to overcome their depression or mental illness. I am looking forward to be apart of any other events organized by the CPCS. Thank you for this opportunity.

The spoken word.

Title : Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid.

Some things are better left unsaid.
Some things are even better forgotten.
Never be thought;
Never be remembered;
Never be written down.

We could be masters of the unsaid words,
But slaves to those we let slip out.
This is probably something I've wanted to express because I care,
Something unsaid; that I needed to share.

Someone once told me,
That a girl didn't have anything to live for thus chose death.
She cried day and night,
Ask me why? There was nobody to hold her tight.

At nine, her mother died, she cried.
At eleven, she shed the bitterest tears seeing her father with another woman in bed.
When she was twelve, her father left her stranded.

Drugs, drinking, smoking were her source of comfort,
It wasn't as much a choice as it was life.
Neither did she stay in school,
Because she thought that'll be cool.

Then? Brothel took charge of her life.
Two cents she earned was on bread and pie.
It was life. Her life.

She ran, ran away when she couldn't stand.
At sixteen, she had a baby with a man.
Never was there anyone more pure and sincere,
Whom she despised.
Not for being born,
But for being alive.

It shouldn't have stopped then,
But what is life if not cruel?
Her father came by and took her gem.

She couldn't stand how cruel life was to her,
That she cried daily.
She thought there was nothing else to live for; as she beg God to take away her life.
Eventually time showed her mercy and gave her to death.

Her life was a story of suffering;
Tragedy;
Destruction;
that serves as a perfect example that :

Some things are should never be spoken;
Never be thought;
Never be written down.
However, this thing should never be left unsaid.

"Understanding Sedition Act and Freedom of Speech in Malaysia"

We were required to do a presentation on the topic below for Cultural, Arts and Politics subject under the HMC Department. This is our report.

Our sub-topics are as below :-


a) Definition of freedom of speech and sedition act.
b) Chronology : Sedition Act 1948
c) Rules of Sedition Act
d) Seditious Tendency and Punishments
e) Pros and Cons
f) Relation between Freedom of Speech and Sedition Act

Understanding Sedition Act and Freedom of Speech in Malaysia

Every citizen has the right to freedom of speech and expression, so do Malaysians. However, it is becoming more difficult to freely express ideas in Malaysia when compared to the rest of the world. The rights to express one’s ideas or opinions is not constricted through only speech but can also be expressed through writing and other forms of communication. But it is a devastating truth that freedom of speech has been abused to the extent that critics believe they have the license to say whatever they want about the government whereas the reverse never applies. If it happens and the government takes action, these critics will claim that they are being robbed of their right to express themselves. What we fail to understand is that, while democracy allows freedom of speech, citizens must exercise this right responsibly because they cannot say anything, anywhere they like at any time. This applies to all citizens regardless of rank, status, class, race, gender. Not just that, another common medium is the Internet by which the netizens hurl all kinds of criticisms and rumours at victims, including the Ruler or the Prime Minister. Therefore, Sedition Act that was previously enacted by the British was amended to place limitations on freedom of speech and making it illegal to raise sensitive issues by questioning the sovereignty of the Rulers.

Much of modern-day Malaysia was born out of British colonialism. Britain’s interest in Malaya throughout the 18th and 19th centuries was primarily economic, revolving around rich natural resources and agriculture. However, in 1941, the British lost Malaya to the Japanese and eventually shifted away from colonialism. British then returned to Malaya and created the Malayan Union, which was opposed by the Malays and triggered the formation of UMNO. Due to this strong opposition, in 1948, the British abandoned the Malayan Union and created the Federation of Malaya. Nevertheless, while the nationalist Malays accepted this, the more radical Malays plus the Socialists and Communists opposed it. To stifle this dissent, the British introduced the Sedition Act (1948) and those opposed to the British and to the formation of the Federation of Malaya took to the jungles to continue their opposition as an armed struggle. In 1957, the Malaysian achieved their goal of de jure independence from British rule, although they were ill-prepared to exist as a completely sovereign nation. After that, the majority of the British military stationed in the area had left, a lack of internal control and racial tensions propagated by the overall constitutional bias decisively in the favour of the Malays led to communal racial rioting on the 13th May 1969 that led to at least 200 deaths, thus the government amended the Sedition Act and imposed restrictions to freedom of speech.

Constitution have been criticized by human rights advocates, who charge that "under the Malaysian Constitution, the test is not whether or not the restriction is necessarily but the much lower standard of whether or not Parliament deems the restrictions necessary or even expedient. There is no objective requirement that the restriction is actually necessary or expedient and the latter standard is much lower than that of necessity (sedition act, 2006).

Section 4 of the Sedition Act specifies that anyone who "does or attempts to do, or makes any preparation to do, or conspires with any person to do" an act with seditious tendency, such as uttering seditious words, or printing, publishing or importing seditious literature, is guilty of sedition. It is also a crime to possess a seditious publication without a "lawful excuse". The act defines sedition itself as anything which "when applied or used in respect of any act, speech, words, publication or other thing qualifies the act, speech, words, publication or other thing as having a seditious tendency"(sedition act, 2006).

Those acts defined as having a seditious tendency are acts with a tendency. Examples are to bring into hatred or contempt or to excite disaffection against any Ruler or against any Government. Next, to bring into hatred or contempt or to excite disaffection against the administration of justice in Malaysia or in any State. Other than that, to promote feelings of ill will and hostility between different races or classes of the population of Malaysia (sedition act, 2006).

Section 3(3) goes on to state that "the intention of the person charged at the time he did or attempted (a seditious act) shall be deemed to be irrelevant if in fact the act had, or would, if done, have had, or the words, publication or thing had a seditious tendency". This latter provision has been criticized for overruling means, a legal principle stating that a person cannot be guilty of a crime if he did not have the intent to commit a crime. A person found guilty of sedition may be sentenced to three years in jail, a RM5,000 fine, or both (sedition act, 2006).

No person shall be prosecuted for an offence under section 4 without the written consent of the Public Prosecutor. In such written consent the Public Prosecutor may designate any court within Malaysia to be the court of trial (sedition act, 2006).

There are various pros and cons to the Sedition Act of 1948. One of the importance of this law is to preserve the sovereignty of our country. This law helps to protect the status of our Yang di-Pertuan Agong and our Prime Minister that they are the rightful rulers of the country. As such, no one in any way is allowed to hypocrite that they are not the rightful rulers of our country. Besides, this act helps to protect the rights of the many races in our country. Islam as the religion of the nation or the status of Malay as the sole official and national language is also protected by this Act. Any kind of seditious comments will result as a breach of this law. In all means, the Sedition Act 1948 is enforced to avoid disrespect to various parties with seditious comments or remarks.

Some of the problems of the Sedition Act 1948 are how it contradicts with our constitution that envisages a democratic polity that respects the freedom of expression. “A democratic way of life” is also one of the five cherished goals of our national charter, the Rukun Negara. Our national vision, Wawasan 2020, also speaks of fostering a mature democracy as one of our nine strategic challenges. In other words, freedom of speech cannot be practiced at its fullest extent. Moreover, critics of the colonial-era law have said that the Act defines sedition too broadly and requires little proof for seditious “tendencies”.

According to Dictionary.com (2014) the meaning of freedom of speech is the right to speak without censorship or restraint by the government. Freedom of speech in a way relates to sedition act. If sedition act has been implemented in the law then the art of freedom of speech is demolished. If sedition act is implemented, the citizens now have to analyze what they have to say first than say it. This means that sedition act looks at how we speak, what we speak and to whom we speak to; even the slightest mishap of criticism might lead to anyone to be jailed from up to 10 weeks to three years. Many have been arrested, to be questioned or even jailed because of the sedition act, for example, Adam Ali, Dalbinder Singh and the famous Alvin Tan whom had fled to the America for asylum. All of them have been charged for sedition act and it is either for speaking publicly through social media and speeches. All of this people who have been charged are said to have criticized the government for their job or specifically the prime minister. This law affects citizens because sometimes certain criticism from the nation cannot be accepted and if someone says the wrong thing at the wrong time, that person can be caught because of the sedition act. Freedom of speech might cease to exist in Malaysia because of this law. In other words, Malaysian’s today have to watch what they say and instead of giving harsh criticism that might hurt the government’s feelings, Malaysians now have to give constructive criticism based on facts and evidence. Sedition act affects the freedom of speech in Malaysia and Malaysians are not free to talk so lowly of the higher ups anymore.

In conclusion, sedition act has long been in the law books but is now being revised. There are pros and cons towards this law as stated. The law itself is quite strict. If the sedition act of 1948 is implemented in the Malaysian law, freedom of speech amongst the nation is restricted to by a huge extend. Hopefully this Sedition Act can be revised to another more constructive, precise and concise law for a better chance for Malaysians to voice out their opinions in this democratic country.




References:

Sedition Act (Malaysia). (2006, January 1). Retrieved October 6, 2014

The Sedition Act 1948. (n.d.). Retrieved October 6, 2014.

Sedition Act runs counter to the spirit of the Malaysian Constitution. (n.d.). Retrieved October 6, 2014.

Malaysia. (n.d.). Retrieved October 6, 2014.

Freedom of speech. (n.d.). Retrieved October 6, 2014.